Do you know one of the best ways to motivate other people and get them involved? Here's a clue... It's not always as simple as quoting a passage from a motivational book or threatening to fire someone, or screaming at the top of your lungs about how incompetent they are.
It tends to be one of those things that positively impacts the person reading it at the time. Not necessarily the person you want to motivate or inspire. Particularly if they're not the type person who reads or listens to it themselves.
The downsize of threatening to fire someone can have several implications. Sure you might get the immediate spur in productivity you were looking for, but in the long run you could end up losing much more then you gain. For example, it can create a sense of disloyalty and distrust in people.
Then there's the question of what happens if the person you're threatening to fire beats you to it and quits on the spot? You say it wouldn't bother you, but is that really the case? Essentially you've created a whole other problem. Now you've got to rehire someone, spend time and money training them, etc. I think you see where I am going with this right?
So what's the solution you ask? Obviously you don't want folks running around unproductive and you want those around you to operate at peak performance.
Here's the suggestion... Catch those around you doing something good! Admittedly this might sound overly simple, but you have to realize it's in this very simplicity that makes it so effective. People love to be rewarded. Often we miss the point that people are motivated in different ways.
For some people it might be monetary rewards, perhaps it is something like being publicly recognized in a group of their peers, or shown appreciation in the company newsletter for a job well done. This simple idea stretches both into the world of business and one's personal life.
It makes no difference if you're talking about dealing with your family or a disgruntled employee the fact remains that people like to be appreciated. They may tell you otherwise, but it's one of life's inescapable truths. The more you look for ways to catch people doing things well, the less you're going to find yourself worrying about the other.
Now it's time to get out there and catch those around you doing something good. One word of caution, be genuine in your approach. If you do, the rest will take care of itself.
Showing posts with label Personality Development. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personality Development. Show all posts
Monday, July 12, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
FAILURE LIST OF THE FAMOUS
When you feel a little discouraged, just remember what these people accomplished when everyone else looked at them as failures. Believe in Yourself!
Einstein was 4 years old before he could speak.
Isaac Newton did poorly in grade school and was considered "unpromising."
When Thomas Edison was a youngster, his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. He was counseled to go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.
F.W. Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21, but his boss would not permit him to wait on customers because he "didn't have enough sense to close a sale."
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Bob Cousy, a legendary Boston Celtic basketball player, suffered the same fate, but he too is a Hall of Famer.
A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney because he "lacked imagination and had no original ideas."
Winston Churchill failed 6th grade and had to repeat it because he did not complete the tests that were required for promotion.
Babe Ruth struck out 1,300 times, a major league record.
A person may make mistakes, but is not a failure until he or she starts blaming someone else. We must believe in ourselves, and somewhere along the road of life we will meet someone who sees greatness in us and lets us know it.
Einstein was 4 years old before he could speak.
Isaac Newton did poorly in grade school and was considered "unpromising."
When Thomas Edison was a youngster, his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything. He was counseled to go into a field where he might succeed by virtue of his pleasant personality.
F.W. Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store when he was 21, but his boss would not permit him to wait on customers because he "didn't have enough sense to close a sale."
Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Bob Cousy, a legendary Boston Celtic basketball player, suffered the same fate, but he too is a Hall of Famer.
A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney because he "lacked imagination and had no original ideas."
Winston Churchill failed 6th grade and had to repeat it because he did not complete the tests that were required for promotion.
Babe Ruth struck out 1,300 times, a major league record.
A person may make mistakes, but is not a failure until he or she starts blaming someone else. We must believe in ourselves, and somewhere along the road of life we will meet someone who sees greatness in us and lets us know it.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Why Do We Forget Things?
By Martha Weinman Lear
Before I forget, let me ask: Is your dinner-table talk as snappy as ours?
“Remember I asked you to remind me to call someone?” “Yes.” “Who was it?” “I forget.”
And: “What did I go to the kitchen for?” “How do I know?” “You asked me to get it.” “Get what?”
And: “I saw Whatsisname today.” “Who?” “You know. Whatsisname.” “Oh. Where?”
If this sounds familiar, and if you ever complain about your memory, join the crowd. There are millions of us out here, complaining more about remembering less. Memory specialists, of whom I have interviewed a slew, say that forgetfulness is the top health concern of baby boomers. And they’re not the only ones. “My memory is awful,” says my dental hygienist, Eve, 36, as she tenderly macerates my gums. “Does that mean I’m likelier to get demented?” I shake my head no. “Good,” she says, “because I sure worry.”
The Worried Well, therapists call them. They worry because they do not know that this type of memory loss is normal. Normal, friend. Universal. So universal that the phrase “it’s on the tip of my tongue” is used in more than 40 languages.
With normal aging, what we lose is not memory in general but a particular kind. We have many kinds. One is procedural memory, which is how-to-walk, how-to-eat, how-to-tie-a-shoe memory. It’s what Sinatra never thought about when he sang, Astaire never thought about when he danced, Tiger Woods doesn’t think about when he swings a golf club. (If he did, it might ruin his stroke.) It is memory we use unconsciously, and it is the strongest kind we have.
A second is semantic memory, which covers facts. What is a key? What are eyeglasses? What is a movie?
And a third is episodic memory, which covers experience. I’ve lost my keys. Where did I leave my glasses? Who was in that movie? This is the type that starts playing tag with us in the sweet fullness of time. Here’s why.
That 3-pound miracle tucked into your skull has 100 billion neurons zapping around wildly, sending each other the electrical and chemical signals that make memories. With time, the signals weaken. Brains shrink by about half a percent a year, starting around age 30—though usually we don’t notice any change for years. And here’s the rub. Episodic memory relies heavily on the front areas of the brain, the frontal lobes—the very areas that start shrinking first.
The loss isn’t that big, really. It feels big, because we perceive a huge difference between a brain buzzing along at full strength and one operating at, say, 95%. But it’s just a slowing down. That elusive name is probably not gone—it simply takes longer to pop up. Which raises a question everyone always asks: Is everything that ever went into my brain still there? Answer: Nobody knows. (How would you find out?)
Many researchers do believe it’s all there but in altered form. “The disc is full,” we say, and, “No room on my hard drive”—but the computer analogy is not really accurate. As Dr. Barry Gordon, a neurologist at Johns Hopkins points out, computer memory is exact; brain memory is fluid. Whenever you make or retrieve a memory, its pattern of signals is altered. Sort of like writing over writing. Which is why, as time passes, our memories are apt to change and deceive us.
We accept other changes in our bodies. We consider it natural that we won’t play tennis at 50 as we did at 20, but we cannot accept that our brains also may slow down. It’s simply too threatening.
Scientists who understand the why of memory are not so easily threatened. I ask Dr. Richard E. Powers, chairman of the medical advisory board of the Alzheimer’s Foundation, if he has memory problems. “A group of doctors my age were laughing about the changes we observe,” he says. “At 25, we could read a scientific article once and absorb it. Now we have to read it several times. At 57, my ability to hold onto new information is not as good as it used to be—but we retain the capacity to store and use the information. It’s like flypaper that’s been lying a long time on the counter: It’s still got plenty of stick but not as much as it used to have.”
We actually may be wired to forget. Consider: If everything stuck to that mental flypaper, we would be in big trouble. We’d be overwhelmed by trivia. The longer we live, the more memories we stuff into our brains, and the harder it may become to locate any particular one. So those that we need least, the episodic memories, get stored in the attic first. After all, how important is it (how does it help you survive in the world) to remember the name of that restaurant you ate at last night? What is important to remember is what “eating” means and how to eat.
Think of our kind of memory loss as nature’s priority filing system—often irritating but practical and desirable in the great Darwinian scheme of survival. And normal—a lovable word. It comes with the territory of healthy longevity. And when you consider the alternatives, as they say, it’s the best deal in town.
Make Your Memory Better
1 ASSOCIATE NAMES. Link what you want to remember to what you already know. You meet a Jennifer: Picture her in your mind’s eye with other Jennifers—Aniston (above), Lopez. Visualize them together, which is what makes it work.
2 GET ORGANIZED. Dr. Margaret Sewell, director of the Memory Enhancement Program at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, suggests changing the way you organize your tasks. For example, no calls and no e-mail until the current job is done. “It’s amazing,” she says, “the difference people see as they cut down on nonessential multi-tasking.”
3 CONCENTRATE MORE. Tests show that in absorbing new facts, we are no less competent than 20-year-olds, just slower. “Concentrate a little harder and practice more,” says Dr. Sewell. “You want to learn Italian when you’re 90? OK! It will take you a little longer but, assuming there’s no pathology, you can do it!”
Before I forget, let me ask: Is your dinner-table talk as snappy as ours?
“Remember I asked you to remind me to call someone?” “Yes.” “Who was it?” “I forget.”
And: “What did I go to the kitchen for?” “How do I know?” “You asked me to get it.” “Get what?”
And: “I saw Whatsisname today.” “Who?” “You know. Whatsisname.” “Oh. Where?”
If this sounds familiar, and if you ever complain about your memory, join the crowd. There are millions of us out here, complaining more about remembering less. Memory specialists, of whom I have interviewed a slew, say that forgetfulness is the top health concern of baby boomers. And they’re not the only ones. “My memory is awful,” says my dental hygienist, Eve, 36, as she tenderly macerates my gums. “Does that mean I’m likelier to get demented?” I shake my head no. “Good,” she says, “because I sure worry.”
The Worried Well, therapists call them. They worry because they do not know that this type of memory loss is normal. Normal, friend. Universal. So universal that the phrase “it’s on the tip of my tongue” is used in more than 40 languages.
With normal aging, what we lose is not memory in general but a particular kind. We have many kinds. One is procedural memory, which is how-to-walk, how-to-eat, how-to-tie-a-shoe memory. It’s what Sinatra never thought about when he sang, Astaire never thought about when he danced, Tiger Woods doesn’t think about when he swings a golf club. (If he did, it might ruin his stroke.) It is memory we use unconsciously, and it is the strongest kind we have.
A second is semantic memory, which covers facts. What is a key? What are eyeglasses? What is a movie?
And a third is episodic memory, which covers experience. I’ve lost my keys. Where did I leave my glasses? Who was in that movie? This is the type that starts playing tag with us in the sweet fullness of time. Here’s why.
That 3-pound miracle tucked into your skull has 100 billion neurons zapping around wildly, sending each other the electrical and chemical signals that make memories. With time, the signals weaken. Brains shrink by about half a percent a year, starting around age 30—though usually we don’t notice any change for years. And here’s the rub. Episodic memory relies heavily on the front areas of the brain, the frontal lobes—the very areas that start shrinking first.
The loss isn’t that big, really. It feels big, because we perceive a huge difference between a brain buzzing along at full strength and one operating at, say, 95%. But it’s just a slowing down. That elusive name is probably not gone—it simply takes longer to pop up. Which raises a question everyone always asks: Is everything that ever went into my brain still there? Answer: Nobody knows. (How would you find out?)
Many researchers do believe it’s all there but in altered form. “The disc is full,” we say, and, “No room on my hard drive”—but the computer analogy is not really accurate. As Dr. Barry Gordon, a neurologist at Johns Hopkins points out, computer memory is exact; brain memory is fluid. Whenever you make or retrieve a memory, its pattern of signals is altered. Sort of like writing over writing. Which is why, as time passes, our memories are apt to change and deceive us.
We accept other changes in our bodies. We consider it natural that we won’t play tennis at 50 as we did at 20, but we cannot accept that our brains also may slow down. It’s simply too threatening.
Scientists who understand the why of memory are not so easily threatened. I ask Dr. Richard E. Powers, chairman of the medical advisory board of the Alzheimer’s Foundation, if he has memory problems. “A group of doctors my age were laughing about the changes we observe,” he says. “At 25, we could read a scientific article once and absorb it. Now we have to read it several times. At 57, my ability to hold onto new information is not as good as it used to be—but we retain the capacity to store and use the information. It’s like flypaper that’s been lying a long time on the counter: It’s still got plenty of stick but not as much as it used to have.”
We actually may be wired to forget. Consider: If everything stuck to that mental flypaper, we would be in big trouble. We’d be overwhelmed by trivia. The longer we live, the more memories we stuff into our brains, and the harder it may become to locate any particular one. So those that we need least, the episodic memories, get stored in the attic first. After all, how important is it (how does it help you survive in the world) to remember the name of that restaurant you ate at last night? What is important to remember is what “eating” means and how to eat.
Think of our kind of memory loss as nature’s priority filing system—often irritating but practical and desirable in the great Darwinian scheme of survival. And normal—a lovable word. It comes with the territory of healthy longevity. And when you consider the alternatives, as they say, it’s the best deal in town.
Make Your Memory Better
1 ASSOCIATE NAMES. Link what you want to remember to what you already know. You meet a Jennifer: Picture her in your mind’s eye with other Jennifers—Aniston (above), Lopez. Visualize them together, which is what makes it work.
2 GET ORGANIZED. Dr. Margaret Sewell, director of the Memory Enhancement Program at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York, suggests changing the way you organize your tasks. For example, no calls and no e-mail until the current job is done. “It’s amazing,” she says, “the difference people see as they cut down on nonessential multi-tasking.”
3 CONCENTRATE MORE. Tests show that in absorbing new facts, we are no less competent than 20-year-olds, just slower. “Concentrate a little harder and practice more,” says Dr. Sewell. “You want to learn Italian when you’re 90? OK! It will take you a little longer but, assuming there’s no pathology, you can do it!”
Monday, May 24, 2010
How To Make Better Decisions
Dr. Stephen Kraus, President, Next Level Sciences, is one of the world's foremost success scientists. Author of many books and articles, Steve's insights on motivation and success are regularly quoted in the media, and his research is cited in major psychology textbooks. He's even been called a combination of Tony Robbins and Mr. Spock because of his scientific approach to the psychology of success. Steve has a Ph.D. in social psychology from Harvard University, and twice won Harvard's award for teaching excellence.
1. Don't weigh "extreme outcomes" too heavily in your decisions
We often exaggerate how likely "extreme outcomes" are because we frequently see vivid examples of them in the media. Extreme outcomes generate many news headlines, regardless of whether those outcomes are good (winning the lottery) or bad (a horrible death from dramatic causes like earthquakes, tornados, and terrorism). The more something is on the news, the more likely it seems. Winning the lottery seems more likely than it is because we see TV interviews with winners, but never with losers. Dying in a natural disaster or airplane crash seems more likely than it is because those events make headlines. Dying in a car crash or a swimming pool (falsely) seem much less likely than they are because they don't generate headlines.
Bottom-line: For making better decisions, don't assume that extreme outcomes are as likely as they first seem.
Example: Suppose you are considering whether or not to start a business. As you weigh the pros and cons, avoid placing too much psychological weight on extremely positive outcomes(your company goes public right away, making you an instant zillionaire) or extremely negative ones (you bankrupt yourself and create an Enron-like disaster). "Middle ground" options at both ends are much more likely.
2. Consider failure as well as success
For the most part, we think about success. We make plans for success. Our plans may not be great, and we may typically take insufficient action to get what we truly want, but for the most part, we are mentally focused on success. In fact, setting "approach" goals that focus on what we want to achieve is a key goal-setting principle – fortunately, as I review in my book, over 80% of goals are "approach" goals rather than "avoidance" goals.
This relatively single-minded focus on success has many psychological consequences – some good and some bad. Research has shown that just thinking about an outcome makes it seem more likely, because we then think about all the ways that it might happen. As a result, we plan for success, and typically make life decisions expecting success. Unfortunately, in life, failure is an all-too-common occurrence. Divorce is just as common as staying married. Losing weight is great, but it's much less common than trying-and-failing to lose weight. Living paycheck-to-paycheck and wrestling with credit card debt is more common than great wealth. The list goes on.
Bottom-line: For making better decisions, consider possible negative outcomes in addition to positive ones, even if they don't seem likely at first.
Example: Me. I'm a positive guy. Usually that works for me. But not always. When I recently launched a joint venture with a colleague, I knew I would work hard, and I expected success. But I didn't consider that my partner not work hard and quickly quit, wasting a great deal of my time. I assumed success, so I didn't see the early warning signs of failure. Had I considered that possible negative outcome from the start, I would have managed my time and that partnership much differently.
3. Get input from others
The "planning fallacy" is the tendency of people to vastly underestimate how long certain activities will take. Again, we expect success, we expect things to go well, and we expect things will come our way quickly and easily. But those around us are often better able to make judgments about how likely certain outcomes are, and how quickly/easily we can achieve them.
Bottom-line: For making better decisions, have a friend or family member review your assessment of how likely outcomes are, and how happy they would make you.
4. Beware "happily-ever-after" thinking
Strange-but-true: people aren't always good at predicting what will make them happy. "Happily-ever-after" thinking is the belief that accomplishing goal X will lead to massive, lasting happiness. It's common, and almost always an illusion.
Bottom-line: Learn to understand the true sources of your happiness. More often than not, happiness comes from making progress toward valued goals. It may seem odd, but actually accomplishing goals often leads to a psychological let-down and a feeling of "Is that all?"
Example: Virtually everyone. From time to time, virtually everyone falls into the trap of thinking "My life would be perfect if only I _____" (fill in the blank: meet my soulmate, get rich, get that promotion, etc.). Instead, remember the truth in the old saying: "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end." (Ursula LeGuin)
5. Get over the "fear of success"
I've always felt this notion was over-rated. People talk themselves into not taking action because "If I do, then one great thing after another will happen, and soon I'll be a great success, and I just can't handle that." Uh, right. First, these folks are greatly over-estimating how likely success is (and how easily it will come), as well as underestimating how happy it will make them. Does this "fear" hold some people back? Yes. Should it? No. They should get over it, take action, and recognize that the much more likely "moderate" successes they will experience will make them happier than being paralyzed by fear.
1. Don't weigh "extreme outcomes" too heavily in your decisions
We often exaggerate how likely "extreme outcomes" are because we frequently see vivid examples of them in the media. Extreme outcomes generate many news headlines, regardless of whether those outcomes are good (winning the lottery) or bad (a horrible death from dramatic causes like earthquakes, tornados, and terrorism). The more something is on the news, the more likely it seems. Winning the lottery seems more likely than it is because we see TV interviews with winners, but never with losers. Dying in a natural disaster or airplane crash seems more likely than it is because those events make headlines. Dying in a car crash or a swimming pool (falsely) seem much less likely than they are because they don't generate headlines.
Bottom-line: For making better decisions, don't assume that extreme outcomes are as likely as they first seem.
Example: Suppose you are considering whether or not to start a business. As you weigh the pros and cons, avoid placing too much psychological weight on extremely positive outcomes(your company goes public right away, making you an instant zillionaire) or extremely negative ones (you bankrupt yourself and create an Enron-like disaster). "Middle ground" options at both ends are much more likely.
2. Consider failure as well as success
For the most part, we think about success. We make plans for success. Our plans may not be great, and we may typically take insufficient action to get what we truly want, but for the most part, we are mentally focused on success. In fact, setting "approach" goals that focus on what we want to achieve is a key goal-setting principle – fortunately, as I review in my book, over 80% of goals are "approach" goals rather than "avoidance" goals.
This relatively single-minded focus on success has many psychological consequences – some good and some bad. Research has shown that just thinking about an outcome makes it seem more likely, because we then think about all the ways that it might happen. As a result, we plan for success, and typically make life decisions expecting success. Unfortunately, in life, failure is an all-too-common occurrence. Divorce is just as common as staying married. Losing weight is great, but it's much less common than trying-and-failing to lose weight. Living paycheck-to-paycheck and wrestling with credit card debt is more common than great wealth. The list goes on.
Bottom-line: For making better decisions, consider possible negative outcomes in addition to positive ones, even if they don't seem likely at first.
Example: Me. I'm a positive guy. Usually that works for me. But not always. When I recently launched a joint venture with a colleague, I knew I would work hard, and I expected success. But I didn't consider that my partner not work hard and quickly quit, wasting a great deal of my time. I assumed success, so I didn't see the early warning signs of failure. Had I considered that possible negative outcome from the start, I would have managed my time and that partnership much differently.
3. Get input from others
The "planning fallacy" is the tendency of people to vastly underestimate how long certain activities will take. Again, we expect success, we expect things to go well, and we expect things will come our way quickly and easily. But those around us are often better able to make judgments about how likely certain outcomes are, and how quickly/easily we can achieve them.
Bottom-line: For making better decisions, have a friend or family member review your assessment of how likely outcomes are, and how happy they would make you.
4. Beware "happily-ever-after" thinking
Strange-but-true: people aren't always good at predicting what will make them happy. "Happily-ever-after" thinking is the belief that accomplishing goal X will lead to massive, lasting happiness. It's common, and almost always an illusion.
Bottom-line: Learn to understand the true sources of your happiness. More often than not, happiness comes from making progress toward valued goals. It may seem odd, but actually accomplishing goals often leads to a psychological let-down and a feeling of "Is that all?"
Example: Virtually everyone. From time to time, virtually everyone falls into the trap of thinking "My life would be perfect if only I _____" (fill in the blank: meet my soulmate, get rich, get that promotion, etc.). Instead, remember the truth in the old saying: "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end." (Ursula LeGuin)
5. Get over the "fear of success"
I've always felt this notion was over-rated. People talk themselves into not taking action because "If I do, then one great thing after another will happen, and soon I'll be a great success, and I just can't handle that." Uh, right. First, these folks are greatly over-estimating how likely success is (and how easily it will come), as well as underestimating how happy it will make them. Does this "fear" hold some people back? Yes. Should it? No. They should get over it, take action, and recognize that the much more likely "moderate" successes they will experience will make them happier than being paralyzed by fear.
Friday, October 9, 2009
『走急的人看不見地上的釘子，煩惱的人享受不到幸福的日子。』
<<很值得與親朋好友分享>>
舒特曼：『走急的人看不見地上的釘子，煩惱的人享受不到幸福的日子。』
黑幼龍專欄》我有幫別人更快樂嗎？
一年多前我看過一部電影叫《一路玩到掛（The Bucket List）》，
講一個人聽到自己罹患絕症噩耗時，會想做什麼事？
故事從一個億萬富翁（由傑克尼克遜所飾演）
在病房遇到了另一個修車工（由摩根費里曼所飾演）講起，
兩個人都因癌症住進醫院，走到了人生盡頭。
過世前想看、想體驗的事
有一天，億萬富翁看到技工一直在書寫，
很好奇追問才發現他在寫人生清單（a bucket list），
他剛進大學時，哲學老師叫他們列出的一份人生清單，
寫出他們在過世前想做、想看以及想體驗的事。
億萬富翁聽了之後覺得這個點子太棒了，
隨後也列出自己的人生清單，兩個人還結伴做了許多想做的事，
包括賽車、打獵和旅行，在世界各地留下許多快樂的足跡。
有一天到了埃及金字塔，技工突然變得很認真嚴肅，
不管是表情還是話語都很慎重，他說埃及人一直有個傳說，
說人死後到天堂門口會被問兩個問題，
回答的內容會決定你往哪裡走。
第一個問題是：「你在世上的這一生快樂嗎？」
億萬富翁聽了之後沉默不語，
因為他雖然擁有私人飛機、豪宅和美食，十分富有，極其享受，
但他回答不出來，因為他的確不快樂，
他知道有很多東西不是金錢能換得的。
他無法回答，
催促著趕快說第二個問題，
技工說：「那你在世上這一生有沒有幫助別人找到快樂？」
億萬富翁聽了更加沉默，甚至生氣，
因為他是個大老闆，對人極為嚴苛，常常挑剔找麻煩，
不要說幫助人快樂了，甚至還讓人很不快樂，是別人痛苦的來源。
加上自己還離過四次婚，唯一的一個女兒不相往來，
他這一輩子從來沒幫助別人快樂過。
減少批評、責備、抱怨，才會快樂起來
我對那一幕印象極為深刻，我們現代人都忙著工作，
競爭壓力很大，如果我沒猜錯，很多人跟我一樣，
從來沒想過第一個問題：「我這一生快不快樂？」
而對第二個問題，反應還會是：
「問了還不是白問，我還能怎麼樣？還不是得上班、下班？」
實際上是不是這樣？當然不一定。
同樣的環境職場，同樣的工作，
如果我們很能珍惜自己所擁有的，感恩惜福，
也會在逆境中抱持正向態度，可以讓自己快樂的程度就不一樣。
至於第二個問題：「我們有沒有幫助別人更快樂？」
可以想的東西就更多了，似乎跟第一個問題關係很密切。
一個不快樂的人，很難帶給別人快樂，
因為他的想法、作為都是負面的。
卡內基講得很清楚，
人要減少批評、責備、抱怨和挑毛病，才會快樂起來，
也才有可能跟別人好好相處溝通，帶給別人快樂。
我有個朋友是快遞公司總經理，有一天他的助理跟他說：
「總經理，拜託你不要這麼愁眉苦臉的好不好？」
他生氣地說：「難道我連自己不快樂的權利都沒有嗎？」
那小姐說：「你真的沒有權利愁眉苦臉，
因為你害得我們的工作士氣也很低落。」
在家裡也是，如果父母愁眉苦臉，
孩子也沒辦法快樂起來，影響一家人。
自己積極正向，不僅自己能快樂，也會大大影響別人的。
學會讚美，帶給別人快樂
我最近在看巴菲特的自傳，
裡面提到員工都很喜歡跟他一起工作，因為他很會讚美別人。
其實巴菲特以前並不是快樂的人，內向、害羞和退縮，
他是在二十幾歲參加卡內基訓練之後改變的，
他在自傳裡提到卡內基有16次之多，
講到他如何從退縮害羞變得有自信，懂得跟別人溝通，
成為一個成功的企業家，甚至讓他娶到老婆。
那是他在一次訓練得獎後，十分開心快樂，
晚上才有自信開口跟女朋友求婚，結果一舉成功，
更加深他日後持續改變，愈來愈有信心。
我們在台灣長大的人，
特別是40到60歲的人，不太會也不好意思讚美別人。
但要帶給別人快樂，就要先學會讚美別人和聆聽別人說話，
這部份我們以後慢慢再談。
寫《追逐日光》的尤金·歐凱利
是美國KPMG會計事務所的總裁兼執行長，
他也是在發現自己得腦瘤，生命只剩100天後，
寫下最想做的事，
結果發現前幾項都是想去跟別人說感謝和讚美的話。
他寫信給一個高中同學，說自己跟他在一起時有多開心，
結果對方沒回應，他乾脆打電話去，才知道對方根本沒收到，
他就在電話裡說了起來，對方也很真誠地回答他：
「你在我們班上什麼都是跑第一的，第一個當總裁，
第一個做什麼什麼的，現在連去天堂都是第一個的，
但我們早晚都會在天堂見。」
尤金·歐凱利在死前給我們的建議就是，
不管你現在幾歲，身體健康狀況如何，
都要把你想做的事情儘量往前移，
不要等到五十幾、六十幾才做，現在就去做。
我看完書，立刻打電話給我在美國的妹妹，告
訴她我們以前在家裡有多快樂，
最佩服她不記仇，不會對人懷恨在心，
我講完後好開心，她也好開心，
這就是我講的，自己快樂，
對別人說出讚美肯定的話，就能帶給別人快樂。
從此刻起，不管你是做哪個行業，什麼樣的工作，
每天進辦公室前，
都可以先問自己這兩個問題：「我快樂嗎？」、
「我能不能幫助別人更快樂？」
那麼一天的工作就會很不一樣。
舒特曼：『走急的人看不見地上的釘子，煩惱的人享受不到幸福的日子。』
黑幼龍專欄》我有幫別人更快樂嗎？
一年多前我看過一部電影叫《一路玩到掛（The Bucket List）》，
講一個人聽到自己罹患絕症噩耗時，會想做什麼事？
故事從一個億萬富翁（由傑克尼克遜所飾演）
在病房遇到了另一個修車工（由摩根費里曼所飾演）講起，
兩個人都因癌症住進醫院，走到了人生盡頭。
過世前想看、想體驗的事
有一天，億萬富翁看到技工一直在書寫，
很好奇追問才發現他在寫人生清單（a bucket list），
他剛進大學時，哲學老師叫他們列出的一份人生清單，
寫出他們在過世前想做、想看以及想體驗的事。
億萬富翁聽了之後覺得這個點子太棒了，
隨後也列出自己的人生清單，兩個人還結伴做了許多想做的事，
包括賽車、打獵和旅行，在世界各地留下許多快樂的足跡。
有一天到了埃及金字塔，技工突然變得很認真嚴肅，
不管是表情還是話語都很慎重，他說埃及人一直有個傳說，
說人死後到天堂門口會被問兩個問題，
回答的內容會決定你往哪裡走。
第一個問題是：「你在世上的這一生快樂嗎？」
億萬富翁聽了之後沉默不語，
因為他雖然擁有私人飛機、豪宅和美食，十分富有，極其享受，
但他回答不出來，因為他的確不快樂，
他知道有很多東西不是金錢能換得的。
他無法回答，
催促著趕快說第二個問題，
技工說：「那你在世上這一生有沒有幫助別人找到快樂？」
億萬富翁聽了更加沉默，甚至生氣，
因為他是個大老闆，對人極為嚴苛，常常挑剔找麻煩，
不要說幫助人快樂了，甚至還讓人很不快樂，是別人痛苦的來源。
加上自己還離過四次婚，唯一的一個女兒不相往來，
他這一輩子從來沒幫助別人快樂過。
減少批評、責備、抱怨，才會快樂起來
我對那一幕印象極為深刻，我們現代人都忙著工作，
競爭壓力很大，如果我沒猜錯，很多人跟我一樣，
從來沒想過第一個問題：「我這一生快不快樂？」
而對第二個問題，反應還會是：
「問了還不是白問，我還能怎麼樣？還不是得上班、下班？」
實際上是不是這樣？當然不一定。
同樣的環境職場，同樣的工作，
如果我們很能珍惜自己所擁有的，感恩惜福，
也會在逆境中抱持正向態度，可以讓自己快樂的程度就不一樣。
至於第二個問題：「我們有沒有幫助別人更快樂？」
可以想的東西就更多了，似乎跟第一個問題關係很密切。
一個不快樂的人，很難帶給別人快樂，
因為他的想法、作為都是負面的。
卡內基講得很清楚，
人要減少批評、責備、抱怨和挑毛病，才會快樂起來，
也才有可能跟別人好好相處溝通，帶給別人快樂。
我有個朋友是快遞公司總經理，有一天他的助理跟他說：
「總經理，拜託你不要這麼愁眉苦臉的好不好？」
他生氣地說：「難道我連自己不快樂的權利都沒有嗎？」
那小姐說：「你真的沒有權利愁眉苦臉，
因為你害得我們的工作士氣也很低落。」
在家裡也是，如果父母愁眉苦臉，
孩子也沒辦法快樂起來，影響一家人。
自己積極正向，不僅自己能快樂，也會大大影響別人的。
學會讚美，帶給別人快樂
我最近在看巴菲特的自傳，
裡面提到員工都很喜歡跟他一起工作，因為他很會讚美別人。
其實巴菲特以前並不是快樂的人，內向、害羞和退縮，
他是在二十幾歲參加卡內基訓練之後改變的，
他在自傳裡提到卡內基有16次之多，
講到他如何從退縮害羞變得有自信，懂得跟別人溝通，
成為一個成功的企業家，甚至讓他娶到老婆。
那是他在一次訓練得獎後，十分開心快樂，
晚上才有自信開口跟女朋友求婚，結果一舉成功，
更加深他日後持續改變，愈來愈有信心。
我們在台灣長大的人，
特別是40到60歲的人，不太會也不好意思讚美別人。
但要帶給別人快樂，就要先學會讚美別人和聆聽別人說話，
這部份我們以後慢慢再談。
寫《追逐日光》的尤金·歐凱利
是美國KPMG會計事務所的總裁兼執行長，
他也是在發現自己得腦瘤，生命只剩100天後，
寫下最想做的事，
結果發現前幾項都是想去跟別人說感謝和讚美的話。
他寫信給一個高中同學，說自己跟他在一起時有多開心，
結果對方沒回應，他乾脆打電話去，才知道對方根本沒收到，
他就在電話裡說了起來，對方也很真誠地回答他：
「你在我們班上什麼都是跑第一的，第一個當總裁，
第一個做什麼什麼的，現在連去天堂都是第一個的，
但我們早晚都會在天堂見。」
尤金·歐凱利在死前給我們的建議就是，
不管你現在幾歲，身體健康狀況如何，
都要把你想做的事情儘量往前移，
不要等到五十幾、六十幾才做，現在就去做。
我看完書，立刻打電話給我在美國的妹妹，告
訴她我們以前在家裡有多快樂，
最佩服她不記仇，不會對人懷恨在心，
我講完後好開心，她也好開心，
這就是我講的，自己快樂，
對別人說出讚美肯定的話，就能帶給別人快樂。
從此刻起，不管你是做哪個行業，什麼樣的工作，
每天進辦公室前，
都可以先問自己這兩個問題：「我快樂嗎？」、
「我能不能幫助別人更快樂？」
那麼一天的工作就會很不一樣。
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Unleashing The Real Meaning Of Motivation And Tips To Build It
Motivation is a kind of driving force that encourages an individual to get going. It is a kind of boost to the self confidence, faith and inner conscience of a person. All of us look for some kind of motivation in life. It is almost impossible to face a competition, achieve success of accomplish a goal without motivation.
Motivation is provided to an individual from several forces. Different people are motivated by different actions. A child may be motivated by a simple pat on the back or a new toy. An adult gets motivated when his work gets adulation. Some are motivated by success and others look for big awards and fame as motivational drive.
When it comes to success, there are several things that come in role play to achieve it. Intelligence, study skills, time management skills and knowledge base are very important for the achievement of success. However, without the right kind of motivation, nothing is going to work.
It is like this. You purchase your favorite car, fill the tank with fuel, get great set of tires, awesome CD system and amazing exterior. Now you sit inside the car and expect it to take you to places. Will it work? Hey, no doubt. It will not work at all. You need to take the drivers place and put the key in the ignition to drive it. Yes, this is motivation.
To sum up, if you want to achieve something, the key is motivation.
Now the question is, ‘how to get motivation?’ There are several ways you can get that motivational force required to achieve all that you want in your life.
Here are some great tips to build your motivation:
a) Be clear about what you want and why?
The ultimate goal of undertaking a particular task should be clear in your mind. You should know what you want. It is also equally important to know why you want a particular thing. Spend some time and decide about what you want. Thereafter, write down some points on reasons you would like to wish for a certain thing.
b) Plan and make short goals
Once you are clear about what you want, you must write down your goal and break your ultimate goal in to smaller chunks or short steps that would take you forward. Once you start achieving your short goals, you would be motivated to go further. Remember, nothing works better than success to motivate.
c) Follow optimism
You need to be positive about achieving your dreams. You may fear for the first time you start something new. Its O.K. fear is just a way your mind tells you that you are stepping out of your comfort zone. Do not lose hope. Believe you can and you will!
d) Choose confidants carefully
People are often critical and negative. You should not let these people spoil your dreams or kill your zest. You must talk to people who are interested in your plans and encourage you to go a lead with your plans.
Motivation is provided to an individual from several forces. Different people are motivated by different actions. A child may be motivated by a simple pat on the back or a new toy. An adult gets motivated when his work gets adulation. Some are motivated by success and others look for big awards and fame as motivational drive.
When it comes to success, there are several things that come in role play to achieve it. Intelligence, study skills, time management skills and knowledge base are very important for the achievement of success. However, without the right kind of motivation, nothing is going to work.
It is like this. You purchase your favorite car, fill the tank with fuel, get great set of tires, awesome CD system and amazing exterior. Now you sit inside the car and expect it to take you to places. Will it work? Hey, no doubt. It will not work at all. You need to take the drivers place and put the key in the ignition to drive it. Yes, this is motivation.
To sum up, if you want to achieve something, the key is motivation.
Now the question is, ‘how to get motivation?’ There are several ways you can get that motivational force required to achieve all that you want in your life.
Here are some great tips to build your motivation:
a) Be clear about what you want and why?
The ultimate goal of undertaking a particular task should be clear in your mind. You should know what you want. It is also equally important to know why you want a particular thing. Spend some time and decide about what you want. Thereafter, write down some points on reasons you would like to wish for a certain thing.
b) Plan and make short goals
Once you are clear about what you want, you must write down your goal and break your ultimate goal in to smaller chunks or short steps that would take you forward. Once you start achieving your short goals, you would be motivated to go further. Remember, nothing works better than success to motivate.
c) Follow optimism
You need to be positive about achieving your dreams. You may fear for the first time you start something new. Its O.K. fear is just a way your mind tells you that you are stepping out of your comfort zone. Do not lose hope. Believe you can and you will!
d) Choose confidants carefully
People are often critical and negative. You should not let these people spoil your dreams or kill your zest. You must talk to people who are interested in your plans and encourage you to go a lead with your plans.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Helping Users Remember Their Password
This question was actually asked of me recently when I configured a new financial software installation. I strongly suggested that the primary user (the office bookkeeper) create a new and unique user name and password, one that no one could possibly guess, and I advised her to not write it down anywhere. How in the heck am I supposed to remember it, she asked? It got me thinking about how reliant we are on passwords, how often we use them, and how vulnerable we are because of them.
What are the most common passwords? Password, 12345, qwerty, and so on, are pretty common. Your kid’s or spouse’s name, your pet’s name, and such are also pretty common. I suppose that’s because these are so easy to remember. However, they’re also easy for busybodies, thieves, cheats, and swindlers to guess. Identity theft has become one of the most common crimes in today’s technological world, and easy password theft plays a big part in that. And for the sake of corporate security and user privacy, passwords are used for any number of purposes.
E-mail account passwords, a second or third e-mail accounts password, document passwords, server log-in passwords, application management passwords, application user passwords, FTP site passwords, Web site passwords, vendor Web support passwords, e-commerce passwords (such as eBay, PayPal, and on-line banking), and the list goes on and on. One can’t possibly use a unique password for each and every case, much less change it periodically — all without writing it down. Yeah, right.
Here’s the advice I gave to the user who asked me how to remember passwords.
For the relatively benign types of uses, I’ll use something easy to remember, and one I’ll never change. Something like a name or easily remembered number. For example, when Hewlett Packard or some other vendor requires a user name and password to download a driver or access some content, it’s always the same one. I couldn’t care less if someone else knows what it is. What’s the worst that can happen? They download hundreds of drivers in my name? Who cares? For these types of things, I use the same one over and over again, I never change it, and I never will. If I have to go to that vendor Web site only once every couple of years, I don’t have to rack my brain remembering its own unique password.
For things that might be of little consequence if someone guessed it, but I wouldn’t really want it to happen, I’ll use a different password. The worst that can happen is that someone stumbles upon it and causes a mild disruption, but it couldn’t really do any significant harm. I might change this password from time to time, but certainly not on a regular basis. My TechRepublic password, for example, is something that’s meaningful to me, something that I’ll not forget, but it’s not unique for only TR; I use the same one for several cases.
For uses that are very personal and private, ones that could have serious repercussions if anyone ever gained access, I do indeed follow the standard advice. This is what I told the user who asked me, because hers was such a case. I do indeed change them from time to time, probably about twice a year, and I never write it down. I make it extremely difficult for anyone to guess (or a program to hack), and I use a combination of numbers, characters, and letters, both upper and lower case. And to make it easy for me to remember, I pick something meaningful to me, but arrange it in such a way to be meaningless to others.
For example, I might remember Central High School class of 1982 and create the password CenHS-co82. (I didn’t really attend Central High School, nor did I graduate in 1982.)
Or I’ll remember the make and model of my first girlfriend’s car — the one I put a nasty scratch on, and the incident over which her father almost killed me! Remembering that 1965 Chevrolet Impala Super Sport (I scratched the fender) might result in a password, ChevI65SS+Istf. How could I ever forget that car? It was a red convertible with a 327 C.I engine. When it comes time to change my password, I could remember the same thing, but connected differently: 65ChevSS@327CI (I suppose I can never use these, since I just gave it away!)
If you have two kids, Mary and Billy, aged 16 and 12, respectively, you might be able to create a password, 2k-Ma16&Bi12.
Anyway, I advised her to come up with a phrase or a combination of things she could easily recall and condense them into upper and lower case letters, some numbers, and a character or two to connect them. After some time goes by and she might want to change it, simply start remembering something different.
That was my advice. Do you have a method to the madness of remembering passwords that you could divulge? (Without giving anything away, of course.)
Date: July 16th, 2008
Author: Joe Rosberg
What are the most common passwords? Password, 12345, qwerty, and so on, are pretty common. Your kid’s or spouse’s name, your pet’s name, and such are also pretty common. I suppose that’s because these are so easy to remember. However, they’re also easy for busybodies, thieves, cheats, and swindlers to guess. Identity theft has become one of the most common crimes in today’s technological world, and easy password theft plays a big part in that. And for the sake of corporate security and user privacy, passwords are used for any number of purposes.
E-mail account passwords, a second or third e-mail accounts password, document passwords, server log-in passwords, application management passwords, application user passwords, FTP site passwords, Web site passwords, vendor Web support passwords, e-commerce passwords (such as eBay, PayPal, and on-line banking), and the list goes on and on. One can’t possibly use a unique password for each and every case, much less change it periodically — all without writing it down. Yeah, right.
Here’s the advice I gave to the user who asked me how to remember passwords.
For the relatively benign types of uses, I’ll use something easy to remember, and one I’ll never change. Something like a name or easily remembered number. For example, when Hewlett Packard or some other vendor requires a user name and password to download a driver or access some content, it’s always the same one. I couldn’t care less if someone else knows what it is. What’s the worst that can happen? They download hundreds of drivers in my name? Who cares? For these types of things, I use the same one over and over again, I never change it, and I never will. If I have to go to that vendor Web site only once every couple of years, I don’t have to rack my brain remembering its own unique password.
For things that might be of little consequence if someone guessed it, but I wouldn’t really want it to happen, I’ll use a different password. The worst that can happen is that someone stumbles upon it and causes a mild disruption, but it couldn’t really do any significant harm. I might change this password from time to time, but certainly not on a regular basis. My TechRepublic password, for example, is something that’s meaningful to me, something that I’ll not forget, but it’s not unique for only TR; I use the same one for several cases.
For uses that are very personal and private, ones that could have serious repercussions if anyone ever gained access, I do indeed follow the standard advice. This is what I told the user who asked me, because hers was such a case. I do indeed change them from time to time, probably about twice a year, and I never write it down. I make it extremely difficult for anyone to guess (or a program to hack), and I use a combination of numbers, characters, and letters, both upper and lower case. And to make it easy for me to remember, I pick something meaningful to me, but arrange it in such a way to be meaningless to others.
For example, I might remember Central High School class of 1982 and create the password CenHS-co82. (I didn’t really attend Central High School, nor did I graduate in 1982.)
Or I’ll remember the make and model of my first girlfriend’s car — the one I put a nasty scratch on, and the incident over which her father almost killed me! Remembering that 1965 Chevrolet Impala Super Sport (I scratched the fender) might result in a password, ChevI65SS+Istf. How could I ever forget that car? It was a red convertible with a 327 C.I engine. When it comes time to change my password, I could remember the same thing, but connected differently: 65ChevSS@327CI (I suppose I can never use these, since I just gave it away!)
If you have two kids, Mary and Billy, aged 16 and 12, respectively, you might be able to create a password, 2k-Ma16&Bi12.
Anyway, I advised her to come up with a phrase or a combination of things she could easily recall and condense them into upper and lower case letters, some numbers, and a character or two to connect them. After some time goes by and she might want to change it, simply start remembering something different.
That was my advice. Do you have a method to the madness of remembering passwords that you could divulge? (Without giving anything away, of course.)
Date: July 16th, 2008
Author: Joe Rosberg
Thursday, September 4, 2008
"I am blind, please help"
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, 'Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?'
The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.'
What he had written was: 'Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.'
Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing?
Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.
Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
Great men say, 'Life has to be an incessant process of repair and reconstruction, of discarding evil and developing goodness.... In the journey of life, if you want to travel without fear, you must have the ticket of a good conscience.'
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling...
And even more beautiful is, knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
Monday, August 11, 2008
What is happiness?
What is happiness? – Daisaku Ikeda (A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays – pgs. 35-38).
“You will never find happiness if you don’t challenge your weaknesses and change yourself from within.”
What is the purpose of life? It is to become happy. Whatever country or society people live in, they all have the same deep desire to become happy.
A person with a vast heart is happy.
Such a person lives each day with a broad and embracing spirit.
A person with a strong will is happy.
Such a person can confidently enjoy life, never defeated by suffering.
A person with a profound spirit is happy.
Such a person can savor life’s depths while creating meaning and value that will last for eternity.
A person with a pure mind is happy.
Such a person is always surrounded by refreshing breezes of joy.
“You will never find happiness if you don’t challenge your weaknesses and change yourself from within.”
What is the purpose of life? It is to become happy. Whatever country or society people live in, they all have the same deep desire to become happy.
Yet, there are few ideals as difficult to grasp as that of happiness. In our daily life we constantly experience happiness and unhappiness, but we are still quite ignorant as to what happiness really is.
A young friend of mine once spent a long time trying to work out what happiness was, particularly happiness for women. When she first thought about happiness, she saw it as a matter of becoming financially secure or getting married. (The view in Japanese society then was that happiness for a woman was only to be found in marriage). But looking at friends who were married, she realized that marriage did not necessarily guarantee happiness. She saw couples who had been passionately in love suffering from discord soon after their wedding. She saw women who had married men with money or status but who fought constantly with their husbands.
Gradually, she realized that the secret of happiness lay in building a strong inner self that no trial or hardship could ruin. She saw that happiness for anyone – man or woman – does not come simply from having a formal education, from wealth or from marriage. It begins with having the strength to confront and conquer one’s own weakness. Only then does it become possible to led a truly happy life and enjoy a successful marriage.
She finally told me, “Now I can say with confidence that happiness doesn’t exist in the past or in the future. It only exists within our state of life right now, here in the present, as we face the challenges of daily life.”
I agree entirely. You yourself know best whether you are feeling joy or struggling with suffering. These things are not known to other people. Even a man who has great wealth, social recognition and many awards may still be shadowed by indescribable suffering deep in his heart. On the other hand, an elderly woman who is not fortunate financially, leading a simple life alone, may feel the sun of joy and happiness rising in her heart each day.
Happiness is not a life without problems, but rather the strength to over the problems that come our way. There is no such thing as a problem-free life; difficulties are unavoidable. But how we experience and react to our problems depends on us.
Buddhism teaches that we are each responsible for our own happiness or unhappiness. Our vitality – the amount of energy or ‘life-force’ we have – is in fact the single most important factor in determining whether or not we are happy.
True happiness is to be found within, in the state of our hearts. It does not exist on the far side of some distant mountains. It is within you, yourself. However much you try, you can never run away from yourself. And if you are weak, suffering will follow you wherever you go. You will never find happiness if you do not challenge your weaknesses and change yourself from within. Happiness is to be found in the dynamism and energy of your own life as you struggle to overcome one obstacle after another. This is why I believe that a person who is active and free from fear is truly happy.
The challenges we face in life can be compared to a tall mountain, rising before a mountain climber. For someone who has not trained properly, whose muscles and reflexes are weak and slow, every inch of the climb will be filled with terror and pain. The exact same climb, however, will be a thrilling journey for someone who is prepared, whose arms and legs have been strengthened by constant training. With each step forward and up, beautiful new views will come into sight.
My teacher used to talk about two kinds of happiness – ‘relative’ and ‘absolute’ happiness. Relative happiness is happiness that depends on things outside us: friends and family, surroundings, the size of our home or family income. This is what we feel when a desire is fulfilled, or something we have longed for is obtained. While the happiness such things bring us is certainly real, the fact is that none of this lasts forever. Things change. People change. This kind of happiness shatters easily when external conditions alter.
Relative happiness is also based on comparison with others. We may feel this kind of happiness at having a newer or bigger home than the neighbors. But that feeling turns to misery the moment they start making new additions to theirs!
Absolute happiness, on the other hand, is something we must find within. It means establishing a state of life in which we are never defeated by trials, and where just being alive is a source of great joy. This persists no matter what we might be lacking, or what might happen around us. A deep sense of joy is something which can only exist in the innermost reaches of our life, and which cannot be destroyed by any external forces. It is eternal and inexhaustible.
This kind of satisfaction is to be found in consistent and repeated effort, so that we can say, “Today, again, I did my very best. Today again, I have no regrets. Today, again, I won.” The accumulated result of such efforts is a life of great victory.
What we should compare is not ourselves against others. We should compare who we are today against who we were yesterday, who we are today against who we will be tomorrow. While this may seem simple and obvious, true happiness is found in a life of constant advancement. And the same worries that could have made us miserable can actually be a source of growth when we approach them with courage and wisdom.
One friend whose dramatic life proved this was Natalia Satz, who founded the first children’s theater in Moscow. In the 1930s’ she and her husband were marked by Soviet Union’s secret police. Even though they were guilty of no crime, her husband was arrested and executed and she was sent to a prison camp in the frozen depths of Siberia. After she recovered from the initial shock, she started looking at her situation, not with despair, but for opportunity.
She realized that many of her fellow prisoners had special skills and talents. She began organizing a ‘university,’ encouraging the prisoners to share their knowledge. “You! You are a scientist. Teach us about science. You are an artist. Talk to us about art.” In this way, the boredom and terror of the prison camp were transformed into the joy of learning and teaching. Eventually, she even made use of her own unique talents to organize a theater group.
She survived the five-year prison sentence, and dedicated the rest of her long life to creating children’s theater. When we met for the first time in Moscow in 1981, she was already in her 80s. She was as radiant and buoyant as a young girl. Her smile was the smile of someone who has triumphed over the hardships of life. Hers is the kind of spirit I had in mind when I wrote the following poem on ‘Happiness:’
A person with a vast heart is happy.
Such a person lives each day with a broad and embracing spirit.
A person with a strong will is happy.
Such a person can confidently enjoy life, never defeated by suffering.
A person with a profound spirit is happy.
Such a person can savor life’s depths while creating meaning and value that will last for eternity.
A person with a pure mind is happy.
Such a person is always surrounded by refreshing breezes of joy.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Glass of Milk Story
One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry.
He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door.
Instead of a meal he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought him a large glass of milk. He drank it so slowly, and then asked, "How much do I owe you?"
"You don't owe me anything," she replied. "Mother has taught us never to accept pay for a kindness."
He said ... "Then I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt stronger physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been ready to give up and quit.
Many year's later that same young woman became critically ill. The local doctors were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called in specialists to study her rare disease.
Dr. Howard Kelly was called in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her at once.
He went back to the consultation room determined to do his best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to her case.
After a long struggle, the battle was won.
Dr. Kelly requested the business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent t o her room. She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her life to pay for it all. Finally she looked, and something caught her attention on the side of the bill. She read these words .. "Paid in full with one glass of milk"
(Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.
Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You God, that Your love has spread broad through human hearts and hands."
There's a saying which goes something like this:
Bread cast on the waters comes back to you. The good deed you do today may benefit you or someone you love at the least expected time. If you never see the deed again at least you will have made the world a better place - And, after all, isn't that what life is all about?!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Attitude Quotes
Here are selected the very best attitude quotes from literally hundreds we've come across. Here are some great quotes, by truly inspirational people, including Ralph Waldo Emerson, Norman Vincent Peale, and the Buddha.
Ralph Waldo Emerson Attitude Quote:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Kahlil Gibran Thoughts on Attitude:
"Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. "
~ Kahlil Gibran
Theodore Roosevelt Quote on Belief:
"Believe you can and you're half way there."
~ Theodore Roosevelt
William James Attitude Quote:
"The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind."
~ William James
Mary Kay Ash Positive Quote:
"If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. "
~ Mary Kay Ash
Norman Vincent Peale On Attitude:
"Any fact facing us is not as important as our attitude toward it, for that determines our success or failure. The way you think about a fact may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. You are overcome by the fact because you think you are. "
~ Norman Vincent Peale
Thomas Jefferson Right Mental Attitude Quote:
"Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. "
~ Thomas Jefferson
John F. Kennedy Positive Outlook Quote:
"When written in Chinese, the word crisis is composed of two characters. One represents danger, and the other represents opportunity."
~ John F. Kennedy
Ella Wheeler Wilcox Attitude Poem:
"One ship drives east and another drives west
With the selfsame winds that blow.
'Tis the set of sails and not the gales
Which tells us the way to go. "
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Charles Swindoll Attitude Quote:
"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, gift, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes. "
~ Charles Swindoll
Buddha Attitude Quote:
"All that we are is the result of what we have thought."
~ Buddha
Vince Lombardi Positive Attitude Quote:
"The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur."
~ Vince Lombardi
Unknown Author Positive Attitude Quote:
"Positive attitudes create a chain reaction of positive thoughts."
~ Unknown
Viktor E. Frankl Thoughts on Attitude:
"We who lived in the concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing:
The last of his freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
~ Viktor E. Frankl
Art Linkletter Attitude Saying:
"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out."
~ Art Linkletter
Apollo Belief Quote:
"Ability is what gives you the opportunity; belief is what gets you there. "
~ Apollo
Ralph Waldo Emerson Attitude Quote:
"Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm. "
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Harry Truman Positive Attitude Quote:
"A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties."
~ Harry Truman
Brian Tracy Positive Quote:
"Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation."
~ Brian Tracy
Earl Nightingale Attitude Quote:
"We tend to live up to our expectations."
~ Earl Nightingale
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
How to Say "No" and Mean It
“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”
- Tony Blair
How can you confidently respond when someone makes a request you’d prefer not to accommodate?
This article shares some ideas you can use to make sure you don’t find yourself doing something you’d very much prefer not to do.
The question has just been posed. Pause. Was your inclination to say yes, even though there’s a voice deep down saying “no.” Well, let’s raise the volume on that voice. What possible reasons could there be for saying no?
· It’s beyond your means?
· It’s beyond your comfort level?
· You have no interest?
Identify all the reasons you have for saying “no.” Identify which stem from a lack of confidence, versus a sincere disinterest in fulfilling the request.
What would happen if you said yes? Perhaps:
· You would be considered a teamplayer.
· It would make your boss happy.
· Your visibility with higher-ups would be improved.
It’s comes down to a simple cost/benefit really.
Would the discomfort involved in saying yes outweigh the benefits of possibly going along with the request?
Or, do the benefits outweigh your temporary discomforts?
the role of guilt
Saying “no” is hard for many of us and guilt often comes into play. Whether this guilt has its foundation in religion, a proper upbringing, or a worldview that simply says “it’s not nice to say no,” we often recognize it and make decisions we’d rather not be making, based upon it.
saying “no”
You’ve made the decision, after scientifically weighing the results of your cost/benefit analysis, do honestly say “NO”. Well, go ahead and say it clearly, and self-assuredly…in the mirror. Look yourself in the eye, and do it. Just say “NO.”
Say it like you really mean it, and then say it again as you would to whomever made the request of you. When you pretend you’re speaking to the person who made the request, does it come out differently? Practice and experiment with different ways to say “NO” until you find one you’re comfortable with. Then go, and say “NO.”
after you say “no”
If you’re used to giving in to others, then guess what? After all that practice, you may just be surprised to find that they are not willing to accept it! They may push, rephrase the question, or make a new, not altogether different, request.
Be prepared for this! Know your boundary — what ARE you willing to do? Revisit the questions you asked yourself before — what would happen if you said no, or yes? If you are serious about saying “NO” then stick to your guns.
Tell the individual making the request that you would appreciate it if they respected your wishes, and ask them to refrain from pursuing it further. If you are comfortable expressing your “reasons why” then do so speaking from your personal perspective.
tips on how to say your “no!”
1. The “Wet lettuce NO”
If you are going to say NO, you must say it in a way that means NO! Saying NO in a quiet, unassuming voice is like a hand shake that is floppy and limp.
By saying NO in a non confident manner it will make you feel as though you have got to convince the other person about your decision and the reasons why you have said it!
2. The “Mr Angry NO”
This is at the other end of the spectrum in how to say NO. It is done in an aggressive manner and usually said with contempt. It is not an effective way to communicate your NO.
Here are a couple of examples: “NO. I’m not doing that rubbish. You’ve got to be joking aren’t you.” And: “NO. I wouldn’t lower myself to do that piece of work”
3. The assertive NO
This is the best way to say NO! In a firm, yet polite voice say: “No. I will not be able to do that for you”
Also, if you want to say the reasons why, keep it short and sweet: “No. I will not be able to do that for you. I will be having my hair done at that time”
4. Use effective body language
When saying NO remember the power of non-verbal communications: Look the person in the eye when you say the NO; shake your head at the same time as saying NO; stand up tall; use a firm tone in your voice.
5. When all is said and done
Don’t forget that when anyone asks a question of you, you are perfectly OK to say, “Can I think about that and get back to you?”
No-one should be pressurized into giving an immediate answer, even if the delay is only a couple of minutes. It will give you some time to think it through and to gather your thoughts.
It will also give you some time to think about how you are going to say it, the words to use and your body language.
saying “no” exercise
Practice makes perfect as they say! What I would like you to do for the next 7 days is to start to say NO more often.
So whether it is the double glazing salesman, the cold call, “Would you like fries with that” or the shop assistant — practice saying NO to one person for at least the next 7 days.
You will be an expert come the end of the week!
what will happen
· You will feel much more confident and proud.
· You will find that practice makes perfect — the more you confidently say “NO” the easier it becomes.
· Others will respect your wishes and take you seriously the first time you say “NO.”
· You won’t find yourself doing things you never wanted to do in the first place.
· You’ll have more time to focus on the things you do want to be involved in.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
放棄你原來的樣子
為了達成目的有時候你必須放棄你原來的樣子。有的時候我們太堅持己見，還一昧的告訴自己：「以前就是這樣的啊！為什麼現在不可以?? 」 因為現在已經不是以前了，為了達成目的，有時我們要忘掉你現在跟從前的樣子；懂得變通，懂得順應潮流，才能找到一條生存之道。您還堅持原來的樣子嗎？
~小河流的旅程~
有一條河流從遙遠的高山上流下來，經過了很多個村莊與森林，最後它來到了一個沙漠。它想：「我已經越過了重重的障礙，這次應該也可以越過這個沙漠吧！」當它決定越過這個沙漠的時候，它發現它的河水漸漸消失在泥沙當中，它試了一次又一次，總是徒勞無功，於是它灰心了「也許這就是我的命運了，我永遠也到不了傳說中那個浩瀚的大海。」它頹喪地自言自語。
這時候，四周響起了一陣低沈的聲音，「如果微風可以跨越沙漠，那麼河流也可以。」原來這是沙漠發出的聲音。小河流很不服氣地回答說：「那是因為微風可以飛過沙漠，可是我卻不行。」
「因為你堅持你原來的樣子，所以你永遠無法跨越這個沙漠。你必須讓微風帶著你 飛過這個沙漠，到你的目的地。只要願意你放棄你現在的樣子，讓自己蒸發到微風中。」 沙漠用它低沈的聲音這麼說。
小河流從來不知道有這樣的事情，「放棄我現在的樣子，然後消失在微風中？不！ 不！」小河流無法接受這樣的概念，畢竟它從未有這樣的經驗，叫它放棄自己現在的樣子，那麼不等於是自我毀滅了嗎？ 「我怎麼知道這是真的？」小河流這麼問。
「微風可以把水氣包含在它之中，然後飄過沙漠，到了適當的地點，它就把這些水氣釋放出來，於是就變成了雨水。然後這些雨水又會形成河流，繼續向前進。」沙漠很有耐心地回答。
「那我還是原來的河流嗎？」小河流問。
「可以說是，也可以說不是。」沙漠回答。「不管你是一條河流或是看不見的水蒸氣，你內在的本質從來沒有改變? 你會堅持你是一條河流，因為你從來不知道自己內在的本質。」
此時小河流的心中，隱隱約約地想起了似乎自己在變成河流之前，似乎也是由微風帶著自己，飛到內陸某座高山的半山腰，然後變成雨水落，才變成今日的河流。於是小河流終於鼓起勇氣，投入微風張開的雙臂，消失在微風之中， 讓微風帶著它，奔向它生命中（某個階段）的歸宿。
我們的生命歷程往往也像小河流一樣，想要跨越生命中的障礙，達成某種程度的突破，往真善美的目標邁進，也需要有「放下自我( 執著)」的智慧與勇氣，邁向未知的領域。
希望你能了解生命中不一定只有一種形式，當環境無法改變的時候，試著改變自己.........
只要你的本質不變你依舊是你....
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Time Never Goes Back
Treasure your time… & your loves one…
Try to spare a moment reading thru’ this beautiful and meaning article. Then, do self reflection after complete reading this article!
Once upon a time there are a teacher and his student lay down under the big tree near the big grass area. Then, suddenly the student asked the teacher,
Student: Teacher, I’m confused, how can we find out Soul-mate? Can you please me?
The teacher silent for second…
Teacher: Well, it’s a pretty hard and easy question.
Student: “THINK HARD” Ha???
Teacher: Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don’t you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead. On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it for me. But just one.
Student: Well, ok then… wait for me…
“Walk straight ahead to the grass field”
“A few minutes later...”
Student: I’m back…
Teacher: Emm, well I don’t see any beautiful grass on your hand.
Student: On my journey, I found few beautiful grasses, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn’t pick it up any. Because you tell me not to go back, so I didn’t go back.
Teacher: That’s what happened in real life.
What is the message of this story?
* Grass - is people around you
* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
* Grass Field - is time
* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember "Time Never Goes Back"....
It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable career or business, therefore the morale is LOVE & Grab hold of the opportunity that you have now!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Beauty of Math!
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321
Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER
100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these
questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there,
It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
101% !
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321
Now, take a look at this...
101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:
What Equals 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to GIVE OVER
100%.
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help answer these
questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
If:
H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K
8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%
And:
K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E
11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%
But:
A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E
1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%
THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:
L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D
12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%
Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there,
It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!
101% !
Monday, July 14, 2008
10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Your Work Done
Are you having trouble getting all your work done? Is there a project you can't seem to find time to finish, or something you haven't been able to get started? If it doesn't seem you'll ever be able to cross everything off your “to do” list at work, see if any of the following are keeping you from getting your job done.
1. You have too many distractions.
A recent survey by the research firm NFI Research found that 66 percent of senior executives and managers say e-mail is one of the biggest distractions in the workplace, followed by the crisis of the day and personal interruptions. According to the bosses surveyed, other workplace distractions include unexpected meetings, phone calls, Web surfing, socializing, instant messages and noise.
2. You don't have the resources you need.
A carpenter needs a hammer, an accountant needs an adding machine and most office workers need a computer. Nevertheless, new employees don't always have what they need to hit the ground running. (An employer once took a month to supply the software needed to do the job I was hired to do.) Likewise, if your co-workers aren't providing you with the data or assistance you need, your work may suffer. Before you blame your co-workers for not helping, consider if they are facing similar challenges getting their own work done.
3. You don't know what you’re doing.
Clayton Warholm, an expert on workplace miscommunication, says there are two main reasons employees may not know enough to do the job. Either the assignment wasn't clearly stated by your employer (you don't know what to do) or you haven't been trained properly (you don't know how to do it). Training will only help, however, if you have the talent needed to do the job.
In their book “First, Break All the Rules: What the World's Greatest Managers Do Differently,” Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman reported findings of interviews conducted by the Gallup Organization of more than 80,000 managers in over 400 companies. They found "the right talents, more than experience, more than brainpower and more than willpower alone, are the prerequisites for excellence in all roles" and, unlike skills and knowledge, "you cannot teach talent."
4. You have too much work.
Some people have so much work on their plates they couldn't do everything on their “to do” list even if they worked 24 hours a day, seven days a week. This may happen in any job, but particularly in fields facing a shortage of workers. The result: the frustration of trying one’s best to get everything done but not being able to do so.
5. You have poor time management skills.
Workers with good time-management skills do what’s most important, while those with poor time-management skills work on what looks most fun or easy -- then frantically try to catch up on important work that has become urgent because the fun and easy work was done first. Hint: Work is rarely easy or fun if you end up missing deadlines and have to deal with an irate boss or customers.
6. You’re procrastinating.
Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today? Actually, you may have a good reason -- to avoid pain. When we procrastinate, it’s often because we’re afraid the job or the outcome will be unpleasant. For example, if you’re afraid of failure and fear that no matter what you do it won't be good enough; chances are you'll avoid doing anything. If your own need for perfection is holding you back, realize most employers and clients would prefer that you do an imperfect but good job, rather than not do the job at all.
7. You feel undervalued.
If you think you’re underpaid and unappreciated, chances are you aren’t giving 100 percent. Consciously or not, many employees try to “balance the scales” to ensure that what they give the employer is equal to what the employer gives them. According to Louis V. Imundo, author of “The Effective Supervisor's Handbook,” when the negatives of a job outweigh the positives, “employees may put less effort into their jobs, be absent more frequently, be careless or psychologically withdraw from work while being physically present.”
8. Your company’s priorities keep changing.
You are working on Project A when the boss says, “drop everything and work on Project B.” When this happens, it may feel you’re not getting any work done, but your employer may feel otherwise. As the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (the most widely used personality assessment) shows, some people are flexible and find it easy to change direction and exciting to start new projects, while others find it frustrating to not complete projects. If you are the latter and work in an industry where change is constant, you may want to consider a career change.
9. You’re burned out.
According to the Web site of the American Psychological Association, burnout is emotional exhaustion resulting from overwhelming stress at work. It may be caused by a hostile work environment or fears about job security, but it is often results from long hours, stressful deadlines, high expectations, worrying about a project or taking on more work than you can handle -- in other words, working too hard. Because it can lead to serious conditions, such as depression and heart disease, you should seek professional help if you are experiencing burnout.
10. Your “reward” for completing the job will be more work
What happens if you consistently go the extra mile to do exceptional work ahead of schedule? Oddly enough, many companies “reward” their hardest working employees with more work. Instead of time off, a bonus or another benefit, productive employees are only given more work to do. If this happens in your company, it’s no wonder you’re not feeling motivated to work hard.
By Tag Goulet, FabJob.com
Friday, July 11, 2008
Put The Glass Down Today
Professor began his class by holding up a glass with some water in it. He held it up for all to see & asked the students.
"How much do you think this glass weighs?"
100 gms! …. 125 gms! …..150 gms, the students answered.
"I really don't know unless I weigh it", said the professor, "but, my question is what would happen if I held it up like this for a few minutes?"
'Nothing' ….. the students said.
'Ok what would happen if I held it up like this for an hour?' the professor asked.
'Your arm would begin to ache' said one of the students.
"You're right, now what would happen if I held it for a day?"
"Your arm could go numb, you might have severe muscle stress & paralysis & have to go to hospital for sure!" ….. ventured another student & all the students laughed.
"Very Good! But during all this, did the weight of the glass change?" asked the professor.
'No'…. was the answer.
"Then what caused the arm ache & the muscle stress?"
The students were puzzled.
"What should I do now to come out of pain?" asked professor again.
"Put the glass down!" said one of the students
"Exactly!" said the professor.
Life's problems are something like this. Hold it for a few minutes in your head & they seem OK. Think of them for a long time & they begin to ache. Hold it even longer & they begin to paralyze you. You will not be able to do anything. It's important to think of the challenges or problems in your life, but EVEN MORE IMPORTANT is to 'PUT THEM DOWN' at the end of every day before you go to sleep.
That way, you are not stressed, you wake up every day fresh &strong & can handle any issue, any challenge that comes your way!
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